Hey guys, it’s STinG here. I’d like to formally welcome Michael Margetis to the blog who will be helping me keep activity up in this place since I clearly am constantly overwhelmed by several things at once. Hope you guys are just as involuntarily responsive to his constant viewing habits, his enthusiasm, and his sense of humor like I am and I am absolutely glad to have him on-board. Take it away, Michael!
Apparently Spain doesn’t have Netflix yet, neither does South Korea or Japan. Belgium, Germany, France and even The Cayman Islands have it, though. If you have Mozilla Firefox you can download an app called HOLA which allows you to change up your VPN address, allowing you to stream Netflix (and other sites) from foreign countries. The neat thing about this, is that foreign countries tend to have a better film and television selection on Netflix because rights aren’t as tricky ’round them parts. You can watch HBO’S Deadwood on German Netflix or SHOWTIME’S Ray Donovan on French Netflix, which is great because after you watch twenty-four episodes of Ray Donovan you can drown yourself in a puddle of your own urine.
Anyway, I tinkered around with this during the weekend and wanted to catch some horror flicks that weren’t available on American Netflix.
FROM BEYOND (1985) – Available on British Netflix. Stuart Gordon’s disappointing follow-up to his masterful Re-Animator, features gore and effects that seem even cheesier than that film, which is odd given the fact it was made two years after that film. Jeffrey Combs returns with less energy in a less interesting role as a scientist trying to break the barrier between our dimension and other dimensions full of snake/fish-like creatures that are very phallic and rape-y. Barbara Crampton is mediocre in an underwritten female role, all too common in the horror genre. The only really awesome person here is Dawn of the Dead’s Ken Foree. An image of him stabbing a mutant creature in bright orange underwear is among the film’s highlights. It’s entertaining enough at points, but it just lacks the creativity and fun of it’s predecessor Re-Animator. Grade: C
HATCHET (2006) – Available on German and Belgian Netflix. Adam Green’s ridiculously fun and wonderfully self-aware throw-back to the old grind house horror flicks of the late 70s and 80s. Characters are intentionally annoying and intentionally make bad decisions so it’s easy for the audience to digest them getting murdered in some of the most horrifically brutal but hilariously entertaining ways imaginable. Horror icon Kane Hodder, famous for being Jason in four Friday the 13th films, plays Victor Crowley, a nasty in-bred mutant human who loves murdering folks in the creepy swamps of Louisiana. A bunch of boobs, plenty of blood and a sexy serving of Joel Murray make this a must for any homebody sociopath. Grade: B+
SPLINTER (2008) – Available on French Netflix. Impressively shot and well-acted, this intriguing horror thriller has a very solid premise. Boardwalk Empire’s Shea Whigham is perfectly sinister as a desperate escaped convict and Road Trip’s Paulo Constanzo is perfectly awkward as a PhD student. Unfortunately, Splinter doesn’t have realistic characters. Making stupid decisions left and right and abandoning established character traits half-way through, it’s hard to feel much sympathy for these people while a ravenous biological organism tears through them like butter. Grade: B-