“If I must just choose the method of my demise, I choose…
Death By Cinema!” -Britt Rhuart
Day 20 – Sleazemania Strikes Back
I have no real prologue for this one, I’ve said everything with the first part of my Sleazemania review. Just to remind everyone, I reviewed Part 1 on the 10th, I’m doing Part 2 today on the 20th, and Part 3 is on the 30th.
Random Thoughts While Watching the Film:
We open with the warning from the trailer of Blood Feast. I’ve always liked this.
After a short credits sequence over a woman stripping, we go to the trailer for Forbidden Adventure. I actually have this movie somewhere, but had no idea of the plot. I still have little idea after watching the trailer, but I’m guessing it’s explorers searching for a missing link and coming upon tribes of “wild women.” I dunno, could be fun maybe. Someday. Someday. Also, this said 3 years in the making. Who would spend three years on that?
Here’s an old striptease by a woman named Dixie Barton. Meh.
Here’s a trailer for a film called… well, I’m not sure. This is what I call a text trailer, where most of the trailer is literally just text on the screen. Forbidden Adventure suffered from this too. It seems to be about a hotel where women act all sexy in different ways. Literally, there’s a room where women spank each other, a catfight room, etc. Eventually, we see it’s for a film called Slaves in Bondage. Appropriate title.
Now a clip of a scantily clad woman driving a woody. The car, you pervs, get your brain out of the gutter. The clip is marketed to art students for some odd reason. I guess studying the human form as she takes her top off and the narrator has a fit.
This is a trailer for another marijuana scare flick where some guy reads off BS crime stats. A woman kills herself and the cop calls it “murder by marijuana.” The film is Assassin of Youth. Also, some chick goes insane from smoking pot. Look, I don’t smoke myself, but I don’t begrudge anyone who does and these BS stats just piss me off.
Quick shot of a girl with butterfly pasties rolling around. Not quick enough.
A trailer for a special New Year’s Eve Midnight Show to celebrate 1953. I’d actually go to a midnight movie on New Year’s Eve.
Here’s a trailer for some adventure movie that’s really just an excuse for African women to dance with no tops. Aw, son of a bitch, it’s Forbidden Adventure again! And another text trailer.
The movie just wished me a Merry Christmas… it’s not even Halloween yet, DVD! There’s then about a 90 second text crawl of other companies wishing to do the same.
Oh, good, a homosexual scare flick… and it’s Ed Wood’s Glen or Glenda. Never mind. It’s just bad writing about transvestitism. Except here, it’s call I Changed My Sex. We see a sex change operation. The trailer implies that Glen wants the sex change, when he is simply a transvestite, not transgendered.
Hey, another Ed Wood trailer! This is for The Violent Years. It’s your basic teen violence flick. Nothing too interesting, other than a larger part of the gang is women.
Here’s a section called Bela’s Bondage Boutique, where they awkwardly cut between women doing supposedly sexy things and Bela Lugosi. Way to kill my boner.
Here’s a trailer for The Sinister Urge. We see a quick assault then a boring conversation, because that’s what you want in a trailer. Also, the back wall has posters for Jail Bait and The Violent Years, so of course this is another Wood film. This one’s about a sex fiend.
More women doing sexy stuff and stuff. This involves one woman tying another up. Then some dude with a Shakespeare beard tries to rape her while Bela Lugosi watches. He seems into it.
This is a terribly animated cartoon for intermission to get people pumped for intermission. Bad song, too.
Aw, damn it’s the trailer for Suburban Roulette again. Will I never escape this trailer?
And here’s the trailer for This Stuff’ll Kill Ya! again! Come on! I didn’t notice people got crucified in this before, though…
Here’s a trailer called Mr. Mari’s Girls. Women just get turned into prostitutes and it involves rape. No, seriously it says RAPE on the screen I’m big letters.
Oh, boy, this is a trailer for a film called The Girl From S.I.N. Featuring Agent 0069 Poontang Plenty. Miss Plenty just breaks a bunch of boards with karate. Later, she poisons girls with Spanish Fly. She also sucks toes. And sticks an ice pick in someone’s head?!? Dude!
The next trailer is for The Class Reunion. This is a sex comedy about people having sex at a class reunion. The narrator sounds like a radio announcer announcing the arrival of a giant monster destroying Tokyo. It doesn’t fit with the movie. I’m surprised they’re showing as much homosexual activity as they are, considering this is from the mid-70s. The sex gets pretty hardcore.
A trailer for a movie called Teenage Cruisers. Yep, that’s exactly what they do. It starts with a girl supposedly flicking her been in her car, but later a dog pops it’s head up. Eww. Also, it says this film has a donkey show. Big EWWW. I won’t be seeing this. A girl sucks the thumb of a passing hitchhiker.
And now, the Beach Bunnies. Just girls doing their sexy things at the beach.
The next trailer starts off with a guy and gal just humping away. It’s for a film called Five Loose Women.
Here’s the opening text crawl to the trailer for 2000 Maniacs! And… it actually is the trailer for 2000 Maniacs! Legitimately one of my favorite films. It’s bad, but in all the right ways. Trailer’s fun, too.
It’s followed by the Blood Feast trailer. God, I love this movie. It’s terrible, but is fun as hell. I watched the whole Blood Trilogy with a couple friends one night and it was a blast. Plus, I love the intro with the dude telling people with young kids or heart conditions should look away now.
As we leave this one, we see a title card warning us against leaving the drive-in with our lights off. And we see Lugosi watching girls strip again.
Oh, hey, really quick we see Johnny Legend interviewing… some guy who worked with Ed Wood. Wood died before he got the script. Oh, it’s Fred Olen Ray. They’re going to play a scene from a script Ed Wood did just as he died called Beach Blanket Bloodbath.
A beach babe prays on a table with evil scientists surrounding her. They’re going to take her brain. A surfer dude runs to her rescue. The script is super cheesy and kinda fun…ish.
Again, not much to say in the wrap-up to this one, though seeing Beach Blanket Bloodbath was cool. I’ll be looking at Part 3 on the 30th. Tomorrow, I’ll look at Mondo Cane.